PsyPanacea - Sep 2012

Write to Panacea and you might be answered! We want to wipe that frown off your face. Remember, all askers remain anonymous. Just drop your question into our mailbox, or write to us at salford.psy.hk@gmail.com. The Goddess awaits your worries and woes.

 

Kristen Pereira

 

Dear Panacea,




Photo: news.nationalgeographic.com

My pen pal lives in a village in Indonesia. The more I get to know her, the more I learn about her life of fear. She has witnessed countless natural disasters, floods and earthquakes. Her family has suffered much loss. What’s more is that they have no certainty about the future in a country where anything can happen. It pains me to see her state. My family has decided to help her in material ways, but in addition to that, I really want to help her by being a good friend and offering emotional support as well. I think we can relate well since we’re the same age and have similar personalities. I really hope you can help me to help her.



DisasterMode

Dear DisasterMode,



Photo: tampabay.com

There are three things you must understand about any natural disaster survivor. You must first understand their conditions, know their symptoms and then know how to help them cope.

You must remember a few things. Firstly, whether one or one hundred, the impact of a disaster on any individual is always just as devastating. Never underestimate it. Do not judge them for having strong reactions, or force them to ‘get over it’ as fast as they can. Grouping together with people who underwent the same tragedy always helps. And always remember, everybody has different needs and different ways of coping with these needs. Always offer your kindness and patience.

On the onset, survivors feel tense, nervous, tired, cranky, angry or numb. They can’t sleep, concentrate or remember. They just want to be left alone. These are all normal reactions and you should understand it.

Here’s what you can do to help. Mostly, listen to them, and encourage them to talk to you. Of course, if you want them to open up to you, you need to behave in such a manner. Make it easy for them to talk to you. Close your mouth and open your ears. Encourage them not to blame themselves. Encourage them not to shift from their regular routine as this can be healthy for them, but lean away from demanding responsibilities for the time being.

Be aware of what we call the ‘anniversary attack’. Mark down the anniversaries of these disasters and pay particular attention to your friend during these times. If she doesn’t behave any differently, then it’s well and good. But still there is reason to worry about recurring symptoms and nightmares etc. Fear not, this is also an opportunity to witness progress and gain perspective on these events, an opportunity for true growth.
 

Photo: tampabay.com

Reference:

Duffy, K. G., & Atwater, E. (2007). Stress!. Psychology for living (Custom ed., pp. 350-351). Boston, MA: Pearson Custom Pub..