Write to Panacea and you might be answered! We want to
wipe that frown off your face. Remember, all askers remain anonymous. Just drop
your question into our mailbox, or write to us at
salford.psy.hk@gmail.com. The Goddess awaits your worries and
woes.
Kristen Pereira
-Seismic Sisterhood
Dear Seismic Sisterhood,
If this has been happening for a few months already, it’s high time she got some real help! You’re right to suspect a mood disorder, but don’t panic! Everything can be solved with patience and support. It could even be Bipolar disorder with some of the symptoms you’ve mentioned. This would explain why she shifts so rapidly from a good mood to a bad one. Sleep comes hard to these patients and they might also find it hard to function.
Shifting the focus away from your sister, it is also important that you get help personally. It might be very confusing to you what your sister is going through and I’m sure it doesn’t help that she might blame you. At the end of the day, don’t be too hard on yourself. My advice is, try to find societies you can join, or friends in similar situations that you can talk to, and gain support from, because it is going to be a rough ride. If you can secure yourself, you’ll do a much better job supporting your sister. Don’t forget, this is tough for her too.
Also, be open to thorough communication with your partner. If you have nothing to hide, let him know where you are, or even better, tell him in advance so that it doesn’t bother you later and it will also give him some peace. Let him know when you’ve finished your activity and who you’re meeting. It’s not a lot to ask for a couple who’s about to spend years in a marriage. It will only make your relationship stronger. Understand his needs, and also share yours. If you need alone time, let him know gently and assure him that you’ll spend quality time with him in the near future. If you want more material to read, I’d suggest researching attachment styles. Your partner seems to me that he is the ‘clingy’ type, but not to worry! This might not be such a bad thing. Try to push both yourself and your partner to be more securely attached, and this should ensure a lasting and highly satisfying marriage. Don’t look back now! If you like it then you should put a ring on it, if you know what I mean.
References:
Q1:
Gray, P. (n.d.). Bipolar Disorder: Loving Someone Who Is Manic-Depressive | Psychology Today. Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. Retrieved July 30, 2012, from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201206/bipolar-disorder-loving-someone-who-is-manic-depressive
Q2:
Erdman, P., & Ng, K. (2010). Attachment: expanding the cultural connections. New York: Routledge.
Dear Panacea,
My sister hasn’t been sleeping at all
lately. She changes mood so quickly and I suspect a mood disorder of some sort.
At my birthday party last week, at first everything seemed fine. She was
welcoming the guests, greeting everyone. Towards the end, she threw a huge fit,
stamped off in front of all the guests, and I was left to apologize for the
mess she had created. The worse is that she
keeps blaming me, my mom and my dad for it, never herself. I’m getting tired of
this. Is it really my fault? Is there anything I can do?
Dear Seismic Sisterhood,If this has been happening for a few months already, it’s high time she got some real help! You’re right to suspect a mood disorder, but don’t panic! Everything can be solved with patience and support. It could even be Bipolar disorder with some of the symptoms you’ve mentioned. This would explain why she shifts so rapidly from a good mood to a bad one. Sleep comes hard to these patients and they might also find it hard to function.
Shifting the focus away from your sister, it is also important that you get help personally. It might be very confusing to you what your sister is going through and I’m sure it doesn’t help that she might blame you. At the end of the day, don’t be too hard on yourself. My advice is, try to find societies you can join, or friends in similar situations that you can talk to, and gain support from, because it is going to be a rough ride. If you can secure yourself, you’ll do a much better job supporting your sister. Don’t forget, this is tough for her too.
Dear Panacea,
I’ve just got engaged to my boyfriend of 2 years. Although I was passionately in love with him at the start, I am just not sure about us anymore. My main reason of worry is that he seems not to trust me. He seems to me, very insecure and jealous, worried that I might be doing things behind his back. He never says these things directly, but instead asks me constantly where I am, what I’m doing. It gets a little annoying sometimes. He gets agitated too if I ask for a little alone time, worrying about what he’s done wrong. Will this relationship really last? Do I need to worry about what I’m getting myself into? I love him dearly, but I’m also afraid of heartache. I’d like any advice you can give me. Thanks.
I’ve just got engaged to my boyfriend of 2 years. Although I was passionately in love with him at the start, I am just not sure about us anymore. My main reason of worry is that he seems not to trust me. He seems to me, very insecure and jealous, worried that I might be doing things behind his back. He never says these things directly, but instead asks me constantly where I am, what I’m doing. It gets a little annoying sometimes. He gets agitated too if I ask for a little alone time, worrying about what he’s done wrong. Will this relationship really last? Do I need to worry about what I’m getting myself into? I love him dearly, but I’m also afraid of heartache. I’d like any advice you can give me. Thanks.
-OnTheEdgeofTheDivingBoard
Dear OnTheEdgeofTheDivingBoard,
The good news is you have nothing to be worried about!! If he’s worried about location constantly, you’ve just misunderstood him. He’s not insecure or jealous, but worried and research actually proves that a man like this, as opposed to their female counterparts, is actually madly and passionately in love. He means well, and it goes to show that you’re always on his mind. Be happy about it. You just need a change of perspective.
Also, be open to thorough communication with your partner. If you have nothing to hide, let him know where you are, or even better, tell him in advance so that it doesn’t bother you later and it will also give him some peace. Let him know when you’ve finished your activity and who you’re meeting. It’s not a lot to ask for a couple who’s about to spend years in a marriage. It will only make your relationship stronger. Understand his needs, and also share yours. If you need alone time, let him know gently and assure him that you’ll spend quality time with him in the near future. If you want more material to read, I’d suggest researching attachment styles. Your partner seems to me that he is the ‘clingy’ type, but not to worry! This might not be such a bad thing. Try to push both yourself and your partner to be more securely attached, and this should ensure a lasting and highly satisfying marriage. Don’t look back now! If you like it then you should put a ring on it, if you know what I mean.References:
Q1:
Gray, P. (n.d.). Bipolar Disorder: Loving Someone Who Is Manic-Depressive | Psychology Today. Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. Retrieved July 30, 2012, from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201206/bipolar-disorder-loving-someone-who-is-manic-depressive
Q2:
Erdman, P., & Ng, K. (2010). Attachment: expanding the cultural connections. New York: Routledge.
No comments:
Post a Comment