PsyPanacea - Dec 2011

Write to Panacea and you might be answered! We want to wipe that frown off your face. Remember, all askers remain anonymous. Just drop your question into our mailbox, or write to us at salford.psy.hk@gmail.com. The Goddess awaits your worries and woes. 

Kristen Pereira

Dear readers,

This is my debut article of PsyPanacea, your one stop destination to all psychological solutions. Life’s a beach we must surf up but sometimes, there just aren’t any waves. PsyPanacea is named after the Greek Goddess of Healing. Panacea also means ‘remedy’. When you’re lost and need a friend, ask her for help and ‘ding-dong!’, solution’s at your doorstep. So here’s her first question to you, 「有冇問題？」 (yes, the Greek God does speak Chinese too;)).

Love,
Panacea xoxo

Dear Panacea,

I can’t seem to fall asleep and it’s really affecting my performance at uni. I don’t know what to do because every night I sleep late and I need to go to uni again the next day, tired. I can’t pay attention in class and it’s really frustrating! Is there any solution to my sleep problems?

-Nocturnal Nightmare

Dear Nocturnal,

I feel your pain. To determine the solution, you need to analyze your current life schedule and also your type of sleep. Generally, sleep problems are caused by many things- either physical conditions, or psychological ones (anxiety and depression are the most common). So if you don’t snore or need to go to the bathroom often, or some other physical condition, then maybe it’s due to a recent imbalance in your life. So let me ask you this: Is there something in your life that’s bothering you? With friends/family/stress at uni?

Usually, we solve problems in the daytime. But a lot of the time, especially as your workload increases, you might not have time to do this. Thus all this work is leftover for the night, called the “day residue”. This is the reason for dreams. But sometimes, these leftover problems don’t allow you to sleep. Solutions would be to take some time out for yourself, maybe in the shower, or on the way home, and just do nothing for a while. Think about your issues, and resolve them before you go to sleep. There’re always the common solutions like ‘no TV before bed’ or a warm glass of milk, but the best one is a visit to the best shrink in town: You.  

Dear Panacea,

My best friend just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years. She’s been acting different. She is depressed all the time, loves to stay in bed and rarely talk about anything else. Recently, we had a group assignment and she didn’t contribute much. My group members were upset, but I had to stand up for her. It’s really affecting our relationship. We don’t even hang out much anymore. I need her as a friend too but I can’t stress her out with my problems as well. She even says she’s heartbroken that she has physical pain! I just want to tell her to get a grip, and move on. Is there anything I can do to get my best friend back?

-Frustrated Friend

Dear Frustrated,

It sounds you’re just as affected as your friend is. My first piece of advice goes to you is: Be patient! As for your friend, she’s going through a lot right now, and if she really is your best friend, you need to support her through it all. I would say that’s the most important step. Her psychical pain is a real indicator of how much she is hurt. Being rejected and going through a break up activates the same part of your brain as psychical pain. So what she’s saying is true! Be sympathetic. She’s also not paying much attention to school and anything else because her brain is undergoing real physical changes. The regions dealing with emotion, motivation and attention have decreased activity. It’s going to be hard for her to concentrate much. Be understanding and patient. Here are the best things you can do to get your friend back:

• Listen to her, encourage her to talk to you
• Help her meditate/deep breathing and sleep well
• Exercise with her
• Get her to write to her ex, or just in a diary. This will help her ease the negative feelings. She needs to eventually say goodbye to him in the writing, so she can realize it.
• Spend more time with her!! This causes her brain to release natural opioids which will act as a natural painkiller to help her. If she’s alone for most of the day, she’s going to feel stressed.

Stick to these, be an amazing friend, and Panacea says “your friend is pretty lucky to have you”. Good luck!

References

QUESTION 1: 

Understanding Sleep Problems | Real Psychology. (n.d.). Real Psychology | Real problems.... real solutions. Retrieved November 27, 2011, from http://realpsychology.com/content/tools-life/understanding-sleep-problems 

QUESTION 2:
Wai, J., & Ph.D.. (n.d.). Relationship Advice: Breaking Up Hurts for Real and How to Recover Faster | Psychology Today. Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist. Retrieved November 27, 2011, from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/finding-true-love/200909/relationship-advice-breaking-hurts-real-and-how-recover-faster